Matt Powers is a contributor to The Onion, Onion Sports, and Onion News Network. He is the editorial/writers assistant at Adult Swim dot com. He used to work as writers assistant and contributing writer to Onion Digital which brought to the world delights like "Sex House" and "Lake Dredge Appraisal". He has been asked several times but refuses to leave your driveway.


Friday Morning Band Name!

It’s Friday morning on Matt Powers Won’t Leave Your Driveway so that means it’s time for another installment of Friday Morning Band Name! As always, feel free to use this name for your band free of charge, royalty, copyright, and acknowledgement. The only thing that I ask is that if you ever win a Grammy, please thank ‘The Lazer’ in your acceptance speech. That would really help me out of a tough situation.  Now, here it is for this week of February 6:

Meat Lozenge.