Matt Powers is writer for ClickHole. His work has appeared on The Onion, Adult Swim, and other places that are good. He has been asked several times but refuses to leave your driveway.

 

I don’t know if this is a wily advertising ploy, but I now desperately want to try the “Ultra” version.

I don’t know if this is a wily advertising ploy, but I now desperately want to try the “Ultra” version.

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